WWE Vintage Collection Report (04/01/12)

WWE Vintage Collection 200th Episode Report: April 1st 2012
By Shaun Best-Rajah.com Reporter
Hosted by: Mean Gene Okerlund

In celebration of the 200th episode, Mean Gene presents the “Genie Awards,” celebrating the good, bad and ugly of sports entertainment.

Okerlund is in studio with two replica action figures of himself spinning around on a small podium on his desk. Crowd shots from previous Hall of Fame ceremonies add to the ‘occasion’ each time we come back to the studio from breaks/matches.

A vignette showing some of the legends of the ring opens up the show.

The first award comes straight out of the what the heck were they thinking gimmick department. To the shock of no-one, the Shockmaster gets the dubious prestige of being declared the winner of the “What the #$*” award. Other nominees included Man Mountain Rock (Maxx Payne playing a guitar) Bastion Booger (king of the buffet) TL Hopper (a wrestling plumber) Mantaur (half-man, half-beast) Damian Demento (demented) Waylon Mercy (nutcase) Berzerker (screaming Viking) The Goon (violent ex-Hockey player) The Oddities (dancing South Park fans) Duke Droese (bin man) Max Moon (human condom from outer space) Glacier (Lance Storm meets Mr Freeze meets Mirko Cro Cop.)

WCW Clash of the Champions XXV: November 10th 1993
The Shockmaster vs The Equalizer
After plans for the Shockmaster’s debut literally fell through the wall, he wisely swapped his stormtrooper’s helmet for a builders hard hat. The Equalizer manages to back suplex the former Natural Disaster, but Typhoon stands firm on shoulder tackles and clothesline attempts. Shockmaster plants Equalizer with a big boot and not long after catches him with the big squeeze (bearhug/spinebuster) for the 1-2-3. Winner: THE SHOCKMASTER. The Shockmaster was repackaged as a clutz, before briefly returning to the WWF for a run as Typhoon in summer 1994. The Equalizer would become Evad Sullivan, the dyslexic brother of Kevin Sullivan.

Next up, the Legion of Doom beat off stiff competition from Demolition, the Steiners, Edge & Christian, the Hart Foundation and the British Bulldogs to win the “Vintage Tag Team” gong.

WWF TV Taping: November 20th 1990
Legion of Doom vs Demolition w/Mr Fuji
LOD are facing Smash and Crush, as Ax (conspicuous by his absence) was on the brink of being released and would make his final WWF TV appearance at Survivor Series the next night. Hawk pummels Smash in the corner after avoiding a sneak attack from a test of strength proposal. Hawk stays on top until Crush attacks from behind to prevent a suplex. This brings Animal in to argue with the referee and allows Fuji to swipe Hawk’s leg in the ropes. Smash knocks Hawk to the floor. Crush holds Hawk for a Fuji cane shot across the back. Crush chokes Hawk with his boot underneath the ring apron.

Hawk falls victim to the Demolition Decapitation, but Animal breaks up the pin by pulling Crush out of the ring. Hawk recovers to clothesline Crush and make the hot tag. Animal catches Smash with a powerslam, before getting double teamed. Animal escapes a back suplex to hit a double clothesline. Fuji smacks Hawk with his cane as he climbs the top rope. Smash gives Animal a backbreaker, while Crush follows up with a top rope kneedrop. Hawk breaks up a pin, so Crush tosses him to the floor. Smash back suplexes Animal and sets him up for a piledriver. On the floor, Hawk posts Crush to escape a headlock, then quickly nips up top and catches Smash unawares with a clothesline for the 1-2-3. Hawk knocks Fuji from the apron after the bell as a receipt for the cane shots. Winners: LEGION OF DOOM. The writing was on the wall for Demolition by this point.

To compliment the annual month of Cruiserweight action, the winner of the “Look Out Air Traffic Control” award goes to Rey Mysterio. Noteable mentions go out to 1-2-3 Kid, Ultimo Dragon, Eddie Guerrero, Flyin’ Brian and Chris Jericho. If I was Dean Malenko, I’d feel slighted.

WCW Saturday Night: January 17th 1998
Rey Mysterio Jnr, Super Calo & Hector Garza vs Psychosis, La Parka & Silver King
We join the match in progress. Garza has blown out his knee and is lying out of view on the outside. Calo sends Psychosis packing after a spinning side slam and dropkick. Calo lands on top of the luchador with a swanton bomb. Silver fakes a 619, before La Parka gives him a leg up to flip over the top rope and onto Calo. La Parka gets intercepted by a Mysterio flying cross body, but does well to catch him. Instead of dumping Mysterio, La Parka struts and wobbles his legs before placing Mysterio back onto his feet. Both trip each other up. Mysterio gets caught with two powerbombs, but kicks out of pin attempts. Mysterio yanks La Parka from the top rope, then catches him going high risk a second time. Both men take a tumble, with La Parka coming off worse by crotching himself in the ropes. Mysterio recovers to land a springboard hurracanrana for the Uno, Dos, Tres. Winners: REY MYSTERIO JNR, SUPER CALO & HECTOR GARZA. This was a fun match. Too bad that Dusty Rhodes and Tony Schiavone referred to La Parka as Psychosis all match. Sloppy!

The Kendo Stick is named the winner of the “Everything But The Kitchen Sink” award following a vignette filled with weapon shots. Unfortunately, the weapon shots are in freeze frame format as they’re not permitted on an early morning showing. Okerlund holds up a replica stick in-studio, stating that he’s been known to use one when production staff get out of hand.

Monday Night Raw: August 19th 2002
Six Minute Hardcore Battle Royal
Moments before the bell, RAW GM Eric Bischoff would abolish the 24/7 Hardcore rule and set this match up between former Hardcore titleholders. Participants include Tommy Dreamer (defending champion) Crash Holly, Bubba Ray Dudley, Spike Dudley, Jeff Hardy, Bradshaw, Stevie Richards, Johnny Stamboli and Terri Runnels. Whoever is champion at the end of six minutes keeps the title. We pick things up after Bradshaw has pinned Dreamer and Runnels has bolted to the back. Bradshaw attacks Richards with a kitchen sink, while Dreamer goes crazy with a baking tray. The crowd want tables. Bradshaw goes to piledrive Stamboli, but eats a Stevie kick. Crash jumps on top to pin Bradshaw and become champion. Hardy runs the guardrail with a broom, landing on Crash. Spike sets up a table in the ring. Bradshaw sends Richards head first into the ring steps. Bubba throws Stamboli off the top rope to the floor. Hardy uses Bubba as a springboard to wipe out Stamboli with a swanton bomb. Crash throws Spike over the top rope to counter a Dudley Dog. Crash tells Bubba to get the tables. Since Crash isn’t D’Von, Bubba powerbombs him through a table instead. Dreamer smacks Bubba between the eyes with a kendo stick to interrupt his Dusty Rhodes routine. A dazed Dreamer falls on top of Crash and pins him to regain his title. We’re down to the last two minutes. Bradshaw powerbombs Dreamer at the second attempt. The former Acolyte then goes after his personal whipping boy once more, turning poor Richards inside out with a clothesline from hell. Bubba breaks up a pin. Bradshaw returns the favour after Dreamer takes a Bubba bomb. Bubba low blows Bradshaw on the top rope, powerbombs him, then superplexes Dreamer. One minute remains, but Bubba, Bradshaw and Spike all cancel each other out as they desperately try to pin Dreamer. Time runs down and Dreamer retains. This was fun to watch. Winner: TOMMY DREAMER.

From What to What’cha gonna do, Woooooooo to Rest in peace. Everybody may have a price, but Stone Cold Steve Austin wins the “Vintage Catchphrase” award. And that’s the bottom line. If you’re not down with that, I got two words for you….you’re fired! Have a nice day!

WWF SummerSlam: August 18th 1996
Stone Cold Steve Austin vs Yokozuna
This is the pre-show match before the PPV. Yoko is just back from a broken leg and tips the scales at a near 700lbs. Austin can’t get Yoko off his feet, so he flips him off before running into a samoan drop. Yoko drops a big fat leg and pulls Austin to the corner. Yoko loses his balance going for the banzai drop and the top rope breaks as Yoko falls onto his head. Austin wisely avoids getting squashed and hooks a leg for the ‘upset’ 1-2-3. DUD. Why Austin wasn’t on the main show still baffles me. Winner: STONE COLD STEVE AUSTIN.

The final award is the big one. The “Vintage Superstar” award is for the MVP of the show. After a quick drumroll, Okerlund pulls out Bret Hart and Shawn Michaels’s names from a white envelope. Other nominees included Mr Perfect, Roddy Piper, Ted DiBiase and Ricky Steamboat. Okerlund says this isn’t right having two winners, so he proposes a match for all the marbles and pulls out a video containing a rare gem from early 1990.

WWF Wrestling Challenge: February 11th 1990
Bret “Hitman” Hart w/Jim “The Anvil” Neidhart vs Shawn Michaels w/Marty Jannetty
Both go back-and-forth on a hammerlock, until Michaels drills Bret with an elbow. The Hitman catches Michaels with an inverted atomic drop, clothesline and snapmare, but misses an elbow. Michaels cranks on a side headlock, counters a back suplex and lands a dropkick. Bret nips back up to throw Michaels from the top rope. Bret lands some stiff uppercuts until Michaels hooks the arms and surprises him with a backslide for two. Michaels twirls around and lands on his feet to prevent a backbreaker and slams Bret. Michaels drops a Hogan-esque leg. Both collide after Bret shoots Michaels off the ropes. Both men cancel out suplex attempts as they tussle to the ropes. Earl Hebner separates and a shoving match ensues as tensions begin to boil over. Bret pops Michaels with a right hand which angers Jannetty, who gets onto the apron and drills the Hitman. Anvil tries to retaliate, but gets floored by Michaels. All four men brawl in the ring as the bell goes. Winner: DOUBLE DQ. You’ll find this showcase on the Bret/Shawn Greatest Rivalries DVD.

Okerlund says both are now out of the running for the award and names himself the winner of the small silver trophy. Okerlund says he’s been on more shows than Bret and Michaels combined and will put the trophy on his mantle.

We end the show with a cheesy dance montage which has to be seen to be believed. From Slick to Road Dogg, Vince McMahon, Jeff Jarrett, William Regal, DX, Christian, Too Cool and the Gobbledy Gooker, it’s a hilarious, well put together piece.

This was a really entertaining show from top to bottom. I recommend going out of your way to see it. See you next week.

Any comments or discussion points drop me a line at shaunmb1@hotmail.com.

Follow me on Twitter @Shaun_Best.

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