Over a decade before his Oscar win, Leonardo DiCaprio was 21 years old and the star of an awful movie you’ve never heard of.
In 1995, the “Growing Pains” and “Basketball Diaries” actor made an independent film called “Don’s Plum,” featuring members of his infamous friend group, “the p-ssy posse,” including Tobey Maguire and Kevin Connolly.
After witnessing this turd I can’t blame DiCaprio and Maguire for wanting to bury it in the backyard.
The black-and-white, cigarette-smoke-filled, largely improvised indie is as pretentious as it is disgusting. It’s 82 minutes of hot-shot jerks degrading everyone in sight while rambling on about masturbation, bisexuality and their lack of acting careers.
DiCaprio, Maguire, Connolly and Scott Bloom play young LA actors who regularly meet at the titular diner, acting rowdy and toting along new girls who they treat like dogs.
After Brad (Bloom) brings a hitchhiking woman to their regular table at the diner, DiCaprio — improvising, remember — screams, “Stop looking at me like that! I’ll throw a bottle at your face, you g–damn whore!” And then, as she gets up to leave: “Get out of here, you slut-b–tch!” Naturally, the group doesn’t get kicked out of the restaurant for this violent, sexist outburst. Write what you know, I guess.
Some other choice lines from Leo’s character, Derek: “I got my girlfriend off on a zucchini” and “Have you guys ever had sex with a hooker?”
Because of the lack of color and diner setting, you can’t help but wonder if this bunch of bros — best known for carousing — believed themselves to be mini Lanford Wilsons or ‘lil Woody Allens, all destined for genius status. “Don’s Plum” is remarkably self-important for a film that boasts the line, “Is it true the male G-spot is in your butt?” Its director, R.D. Robb, never helmed another film again. He went on to act on television, and was the executive producer of “Sirens.” Phew.
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Despite the idiocy and immaturity of the whole thing, you get fascinating glimpses of nascent star power. Maguire, who sounds like he just inhaled a tank of helium, was already a master of the puppydog geekiness that made him a perfect Peter Parker; Connolly was living and breathing “Entourage” almost a decade before he’d hop in the car with Adrian Grenier. And DiCaprio was mere months away from making “Titanic,” one of the biggest films of all time and the one that would cement him as a Hollywood superstar.
Does that mean “Don’s Plum” should be preserved by the National Film Registry? No.
Do they do burnings?
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