The John Report: Talking Smack for 03/05/10 (Edge/Big Show)

Welcome to the Talking Smack column where I offer up a quick rundown of WWE’s Friday broadcast, Smackdown. Before we start, BIG changes at the blog this week. We got our own URL. It’s thejohnreport.net so make sure you bookmark that. If you head to the old address, you’ll be told to go there because thejohnreport.net will be the only place where I’ll be making new posts. It became active on Friday, so be sure to bookmark the new URL, tell your friends and visit often for daily content. I don’t plan to change the content or the look much. Black text on a white background. A lot of people read it on their phones including myself at times. It’s easier to navigate on a phone when it’s simple like that. I’m still working on installing some of the plugins to make it more adaptable for phones, but keep checking back because I’ll be doing that all weekend. That’s enough talk of thejohnreport.net, so let’s get to Smackdown.

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Taped from Wichita, Kansas let’s talk some smack…

Edge starts us off. They’re really pushing the crowd to chant “spear” for him and it’s working. He talked about how he’s been able to spear Jericho every week. Big Show came out because as a tag team champion he can appear on any show he wants. Show said he’s going to destroy Edge in the main event, which led to Edge saying “what are you going to do, eat me?” Then Show said he had pieces of crap like Edge for breakfast, which led to Edge saying that he just admitted to eating pieces of crap for breakfast. Welcome to PG comedy. Show “ran” at him, Edge ducked and Show went tumbling over the top rope. Decent opening. Not as good as the Edge/Jericho ones of late.

Backstage, Drew McIntyre got Teddy Long to wipe out his loss from last week (due to the orders of Vince McMahon) and he got put into another Money in the Bank match this week. Kane is still in due to his win over Drew last week. Confused? It’s not that hard to figure out. And the result of the next match wasn’t hard to figure out either.

Matt Hardy d. Drew McIntyre (**)
They threw to commercial when somebody wasn’t on the floor here. That was crazy to me. Such a foreign concept in WWE! Hardy got the win after about 8 minutes by countering a pin attempt. The story goes that McIntyre loses for the second straight week even though he didn’t lose to a finisher.

We now have 7 of the 8 guys in the Money in the Bank match. Despite two losses, I think McIntyre gets in next week and ends up winning the match. That seems to be where they are going with this. They could even have Kofi as the 8th guy and then McIntyre gets added as #9 at the show as a late addition by Vince. No matter what happens, McIntyre’s my pick to win Money in the Bank. I’d love it to be Christian, though.

It was awkward backstage talk time as John Morrison talked with Slam Master J, who is definitely near the top of the potential future endeavored list. He showed Morrison his abs, which seemed to impress John. Did I write that last sentence? Guess so. R-Truth came in to talk to Morrison about the tag title opportunity later in the night. They came up with some terrible tag team names like Rock & Rap, but then agreed on “The Next Unified Tag Team Champions.” That’s not much of a name, is it?

Shelton Benjamin d. Dolph Ziggler (*1/2)
This is a preview of Money in the Bank aka “the match where we are reminded that Shelton Benjamin is an amazing athlete.” That’s a long aka isn’t it? Both guys have similar backgrounds as amateur wrestlers although Benjamin was better. It was nice to see a bridging German suplex here. I miss the rolling Germans that Angle and Benoit used to do. Ziggler went for the Zig Zag, Benjamin countered and hit Paydirt for the win. It was a decent five minute match. I would love to see Benjamin in a longer TV match against Jericho.

They tried telling us Edge facing Big Show was his toughest test to date. Didn’t he face Batista, who is now the WWE Champion, a couple weeks back? I’d say that’s tougher. Sorry for having a memory.

Ezekiel Jackson d. Jimmy Wang Yang (SQUASH)
Another possible future endeavored candidate is Yang. I like him, but he’s not used much. Jackson won in about 90 seconds with his finisher called The Book of Ezekiel. Then he flexed a lot as Vince creamed himself in excitement. This was longer than both Money in the Bank qualifying matches on Raw.

Backstage, Rey was talking with his daughter Aaliyah. He had a match to go to, so he asked Tiffany to watch him. She went from ECW GM to child watcher. That’s still better than ECW. Not sure why they even had Rey’s daughter on camera. Let’s hope it doesn’t lead to an angle. Been down that road before with a Mysterio child.

Punk came out to lecture us about Straight Edge, even talking face to face with a kid saying they were the result of their parents’ neglect. I loved the close-up on the kid, who had no idea what Punk was saying and simply smiled for the camera. Good times.

Rey Mysterio d. Luke Gallows (***)
They gave this one about 12 minutes, which is the longest singles match I’ve seen Gallows have. Some of his offense was pretty weak, especially the transition moves like the headbutts to the ribs, but I generally like him. He’s a tall guy, but he’s trim and that allows him to move well. He’s good at selling moves by the smaller wrestlers. As for Rey, it was a typical good match from him. That’s what he does. Makes everybody better. The finish saw Serena block a 619, Punk tried to interfere and when Gallows had Rey up for what looked like a powerbomb the little guy was able to counter for the victory. Post match, Punk tried to attack. Mysterio was able to fend him off and get out of there before a beating happened. Solid match plus segment here.

I expect Punk vs. Mysterio to be added to WrestleMania next week. I’m not sure if it will be hair vs. mask as rumored, though.

Backstage, Jericho asked Big Show to watch his kid. Or not. He wanted him to beat Edge badly like the Giant Destroyer that he is. Show basically said they’re not partners anymore, so he’s not taking orders. He’ll beat Edge for himself, not for Jericho. Chris smiled thinking his motivational technique worked.

John Morrison & R-Truth d. The Hart Dynasty & Cryme Tyme to become #1 contenders to the tag titles (**1/2)
Remember when Morrison had a “broken ankle” in multiple places? I guess we’re not supposed to have memories of that or maybe he’s just a miraculous healer? I’m not a huge fan of triple threat tag matches, but they made it work pretty well here. The match stayed fresh and ended when Truth pinned Kidd after about 8 minutes. Have to say I’m very disappointed that the Hart Dynasty are not going to be on the WrestleMania card. They are the most underused performers in WWE. They’ve done nothing with them since that very good tag title match with DX on Christmas and since Bret Hart has come back. Very disappointing.

Last year Miz & Morrison teamed up in a tag title match to lose to the Colon brothers on the Mania pre-show. Now they’re in a tag title match on opposite sides, but at least they make the main show. I’d rather see both guys in the Money in the Bank match.

I think I like the “I Made It” song by Kevin Rudolf. I don’t know if I should be proud or if I should be shot. Let me know.

Backstage, Michelle & Layla sucked up to Vickie and gave her a Simply Flawless t-shirt. They walked away when Beth came in. Beth asked Vickie for a title shot, but Vickie said she would never get one and that she (Vickie) was the most dominant diva in WWE. No sign of MJC. She’s at home recuperating from some minor surgery. She’ll be back by Mania, I think. The rumored divas match is some kind of tag featuring Raw & Smackdown divas that would likely be heels vs. faces.

Edge d. The Big Show (*1/2)
They only worked about six minutes here with Edge scoring the pinfall with the Spear. The crowd was chanting for it as he was preparing in the corner, which is a good thing. It will be cool to hear it at WM. I also loved how Striker put over the move by saying the impact of it is what makes it painful and that the person receiving the move can receive whiplash from it. That’s what announcers need to do more of. Put over finishers during the match. Yes, we can see it with our eyes, but descriptive words help. Plus it’s better than saying “OUT OF NOWHERE” or “WHATTAMOVE” like we hear all the time. Use the English language to help put over a big move. That’s what it’s for!

Post match, Jericho ran in with the belt, Edge saw it, ducked and hit him with another Spear. They’re really booking Edge strongly. I’m waiting for Jericho to beat him down. It’s coming soon, I think. The babyface has to show some vulnerability during the build.

Three Stars of the Show
1. Rey Mysterio
2. Edge
3. Shelton Benjamin

6.5 out of 10
Last week: 7

It was solid as always. The matches weren’t what we’re used to seeing on Smackdown, but it was loaded with matches by having six on one show. Yes, we’re a bit spoiled by the greatness of Smackdown. I have such high standards. It’s still the show I prefer because it’s based on in-ring action, but the matches were better last week. Plus, there wasn’t enough Jericho this week. He did have a good match with Goldust on Superstars, though. Check that out if you get the chance.

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In case you missed it, there was some new content on my blog this week:

– My WrestleMania XIX Recap was posted with some added commentary. I haven’t watched the PPV that many times, so I re-posted my live play by play and then threw in some extra thoughts on it. It’s one of the best WrestleMania’s ever and it’s a show I gave a 9 out of 10 to.

– I also wrote some Random Thoughts on TNA as we head into next Monday’s head to head battle with WWE. I’m not too pleased with how things are in TNA although I am still watching.

Keep checking me out on Twitter at Twitter.com/johnreport where I now have over 800 followers. Added 100 in about a week, so keep it coming. Once I hit 1000, I’ll write a column about the 100 greatest WWE matches from 2000 to 2009. You’re not getting it until then!

I’ll be back on Tuesday morning for the Raw Deal. I won’t be able to recap it late Monday because I’m heading to a concert Monday night. I don’t start work until 12pmET on Tuesday, so I’ll wake up early Tuesday and post The Raw Deal. Just want to give you the heads up for those of you that look for it late Mondays.

Remember to check out my blog at its new URL at thejohnreport.net for all my columns, plus other random shit that I come up with in my warped mind.

Thanks for reading. Have a great weekend.

John Canton – oratoryjohn@gmail.com
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